You know that moment…
You catch your reflection, or step on the scales, or try on those jeans that used to fit like a dream… and suddenly you’re having a full internal meltdown.
“Honestly. How did I get here?”
“I should have done better.”
“What is wrong with me?”
And just like that, you’ve turned yourself into your own worst personal trainer.
Except this trainer doesn’t motivate you.
She just criticises you while you eat toast standing up in the kitchen.
Let’s fix that.
First Things First – You Are Not the Enemy
If you’ve been treating your body like it’s personally betrayed you, I get it.
But here’s the truth most people don’t want to hear…
Your body has been following instructions.
Not your meal plan.
Not your Pinterest board of “summer body goals”.
Your subconscious instructions.
The ones quietly running in the background that say things like:
- “I never stick to anything”
- “I always fall off track”
- “It’s hard for me to lose weight”
So your body goes, “Got it. We’ll keep doing that then.”
Not because it hates you.
Because it listens to you.
The Angry Spiral (You Know This One Well)
Let’s map out what usually happens.
You feel frustrated.
That frustration turns into anger.
That anger turns into self-criticism.
And that self-criticism?
It creates the exact emotional state that leads to:
- “Stuff it, I’ll start again Monday”
- Emotional eating
- Avoiding exercise because everything feels too hard
- Giving up before anything has time to work
So now you’re not just dealing with weight loss.
You’re dealing with a pattern.
And patterns don’t shift just because you’ve decided to be harder on yourself.
Your Results Are a Reflection, Not a Punishment
This is where most people get it backwards.
They think:
“I’ll feel better once I lose the weight.”
But it actually works the other way around.
Your outer world is reflecting your inner state.
So if your inner state is:
- Critical
- Frustrated
- Disappointed
- Impatient
Then your actions will match that.
And those actions will create… more of the same results.
It’s like trying to drive somewhere new while refusing to change the address in the GPS.
You can get angry at the car all you want.
It’s still taking you to the same place.
The Shift – From Angry to Aligned
Now before you roll your eyes and think, “Great, so I just have to love myself into a smaller size,” stay with me.
This is not about pretending everything is fine.
It’s about becoming someone who creates different outcomes.
Because there is already a version of you…
- who moves her body consistently
- who eats in a way that supports her goals
- who feels calm, in control, and steady
That version exists.
Not in some fantasy land.
In a real, available timeline that you can step into.
But you don’t get there by being angry at yourself.
You get there by matching her.
What This Looks Like in Real Life
Let’s make this practical.
Instead of:
“I can’t believe I ate that. I’ve ruined everything.”
You shift to:
“Alright, that happened. What would the version of me who has this handled do next?”
Instead of:
“I hate exercise.”
You try:
“What kind of movement would I actually enjoy enough to keep doing?”
Instead of:
“I’ll start again Monday.”
You go:
“What is one small thing I can do today that moves me forward?”
Not perfect.
Not dramatic.
Just different.
Your Actions Still Matter (A Lot)
This is where people get a bit confused.
Yes, everything starts in the subconscious.
But your physical actions are what reinforce your identity.
They are the proof you give yourself.
So when you:
- go for a walk even when you don’t feel like it
- choose a meal that supports your body
- speak to yourself with a bit more patience
You’re not just “being good”.
You’re shifting your state.
And that state is what creates results.
Stop Trying to Punish Your Way Into Change
This is the part I wish more people understood.
You cannot shame yourself into becoming someone new.
You might get short bursts of motivation.
But long-term change?
That comes from alignment.
From becoming someone who:
- backs herself
- follows through
- treats herself like someone worth looking after
Not someone who needs to be fixed.
So What Should You Do When You Feel Angry at Yourself?
Try this instead:
- Pause before reacting – don’t let the spiral take over
- Notice the pattern – “Ah, this is what I usually do”
- Shift your self-talk – speak like you would to a friend
- Take one aligned action – something small, doable, and supportive
- Keep going – even if it’s messy
And yes… sometimes that will still include chocolate.
You’re human, not a machine.
The Real Work (This Is Where I Come In)
If you’re reading this and thinking,
“Yep… I’ve done all of this before and I still end up back here…”
That’s because willpower isn’t the problem.
Your subconscious patterns are.
This is exactly what I help my clients change.
We don’t just talk about what to eat or how to exercise.
We rewire the patterns that have been quietly running the show for years.
So your thoughts change.
Your emotions change.
Your actions change.
And finally… your results change.
If you’re ready to stop going in circles and actually step into the version of you who has this handled:
? The Fabulous, Fit and Strong Community
https://overweightandunhappy.com/community